My Story & God’s Goodness

I want to share more about me and my story, and how I got into the birth world; let’s jump right in!

I was born and raised right here in Lubbock, Texas by my two parents, Brandy and Norman. I am the oldest of 8 children. I have 2 sisters and 5 brothers, well, one of my brothers is technically my cousin, but he’s been in our custody for several years now, so he counts as a brother! Growing up my mom stayed at home and my dad worked as a general contractor, and that’s still the case today. I grew up in and out of church. My dad didn’t go to church because he grew up a Pastor’s kid and experienced some church-hurt growing up. My mom would go to church, get hurt, not go at all, and then tried out a new church and repeat the cycle. So, I grew up knowing about Jesus, but it took several years for me to actually establish that relationship for myself.

Middle school is where life started to get a little crazy for me. I’m the oldest, (of only 6 at the time), and was expected to do good in school, and also help out around the house, and with my siblings. On top of that, my grandma, who I was pretty close to, was diagnosed with cervical cancer and was given a short timeline. We would text, and she’d let me know how her treatments were going and her reports from her doctor's visits. She’d ask me what I was doing, how school was going and how I was. As she got sicker her texts would become more and more jumbled and she’d repeat herself within her texts, but I’ll never forget this one text she sent me, which was along the lines of “I will get to see you grow up, graduate high school, get married, and have babies.” If I remember correctly, it was maybe only a month or two later that she passed away. I was lucky enough to be there, and to get to tell her goodbye, but secretly wishing that she’d be miraculously healed when my tears hit her cheek, like in the movies. I remember when she passed, I was praying and I thanked God for her healing, and her comfort and peace. I thanked Him for taking her sickness away and reuniting her with her mother and sister. I was 12, a child, still hadn’t quite developed that relationship with the Lord yet, but now that I have, I am amazed at myself, and the perspective I had on death and healing at that young age. Even so, like any grieving person, I was so sad, but was still expected to be my very best, and that made things worse, and I eventually found myself depressed.

Freshman year of high school was the absolute worst year of my life. I was depressed, but constantly putting this face on for others, and looking to boys to make me feel better. I loved the attention, and the compliments I got from boys, and it brought me temporary joy. I had a total of two boyfriends freshman year, the first one was alright, just a little too immature for my taste. The second treated me terribly, only to break up with me and tell me that guys only dated me for sexual reasons, but I think what he meant was that he only dated for sexual reasons, and he wasn’t getting very far with me. See even though I was a little boy crazy- I never let them get too close because I knew I wanted to save myself for my future husband- and that I did. That was right before sophomore year started, so I decided to make some changes. I had been going to church, and got baptized, and prayed to God, mostly out of anger and annoyance “I’m not going to talk to boys ever again. I’m not even going to look at them. When you bring me my husband that’ll be it.”, and don’t ya know... He did just that.

Just a couple months later Seth and I started talking. Seth and I went to the same school, and he was Junior. Seth also was somebody I never saw myself with, literally the year before I told my friend, “He’s not that cute. I’d never date him”. Oh, but God knows better than we do. Seth was amazing. He was polite, he was kind, he was respectful, and definitely the type of person I needed in my corner. Seth and I clicked instantly, and it wasn’t very long before I realized he was the one I had asked for. Seth was everything I never knew I needed. Seth grew up in church and had a family full of believers. When I met his family for the first time, it wasn’t awkward at all, and I just fit right in. Because of Seth’s faith in the Lord, I was able to grow mine and I am the woman I am today because of him. I graduated high school in May of 2019, and we got married in August of 2019. We heard it allllll. People don’t typically get married at the ages of 18 and 19 and we were always being questioned by outsiders if this was really the best idea, or the best timing. We literally did not care. We knew our relationship was, quite literally, a match made in heaven, and we had the full support of our families, and that’s all the confirmation we needed. We enjoyed our first year of marriage, which some would say is the hardest year, but really it was so easy and fun for us.

Being the oldest of 8 kids I definitely had natural motherly instincts and would have loved to start a family right off the bat, but Seth wanted to wait 5-10 years before we started having kids, which is fair, but my heart longed for a baby. May 2020 my period hadn’t come on time like it usually did, and I thought I might have been pregnant. I was on birth control at the time, but had been kind of lousy at taking it. I also didn’t really have any pregnancy symptoms, and the couple of tests I took came back negative. Finally eight days after my period was supposed to start did it finally come, and I was pretty crushed because I was excited about the idea of being pregnant. Now looking back I think what I experienced was a chemical pregnancy. Fast forward a few months- just a few days before our 1-year wedding anniversary I found out I was pregnant! Because of what I had experienced just a few months before I fully expected that test to come back negative and my period would just be late again. I was excited, but also nervous and kind of scared to tell Seth because he was so adamant on waiting. He was already as work when I took the test and I couldn’t wait to tell him so I sent him a picture of the test and said “YOU KNOCKED ME UP!” and he called a few minutes later and told me “Hold on, I need to sit down for a second.” He was shocked, but excited to take on his role as a dad!

I was 19 when I got pregnant and didn’t know much of anything about pregnancy, really just what I had experienced and witnessed from my mom's pregnancies. It’s important to note that my mom had 7 c-sections, so things were a little different than how you would plan for a vaginal birth, which was my goal. I learned A LOT during my pregnancy, and it was often overwhelming at times. I pretty much just did what the doctors told me I should do. No information. No informed consent. No courage to speak up for things I didn’t feel were 100% right.

I delivered our baby girl, Emmersyn Joy in March 2021 and fell in love with her and was so excited to be her mama! While I successfully avoided an epidural I didn’t quite go completely unmedicated either. Knowing what I know now about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, there’s a ton I would do differently. My hospital birth experience was good, but could have been better, and is what helped push me in the direction of beginning my career as a doula. My goal for Anointed Mother is to support women during their many stages and years of motherhood by educating, encouraging, and empowering them. Giving you the information you need to make an informed decision and the boldness to speak up and advocate for yourself when something doesn’t feel right, or isn’t what you want.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading my story! I hope there’s something in there you can connect with or that it helped you with some feelings you’ve been having. My inbox is always open if you need some love and support!